Sonder Stories Pt. 1

Just a bit of back story, I'm 30ish single father, in recovery, and also have had severe, debilitating chronic headaches for nearly ten years. 

Most recently, I've quit heroin. It's been a big challenge for me, and has really held me back in life, financially, spiritually, and physically. Being an addict sucks. Every moment is spent either using, seeking, or obtaining the drug. I never wanted to be a junkie. I never used needles or anything, but my pain left me desperate, where no doctor seemed to have the answer. I remember the first time I tried it, I was bawling because I was so scared of the consequences, but I didn't feel I had any choice at the time. 

My life has been much better since I've been off the drug. I've acquired two great new jobs, and phenomenal new place, made new friends, and generally take much better care of myself. My pain is actually better cause I'm not under stress from being sick, I don't feel guilt or shame for using and my pain is streamlined. Support groups have helped immensely. Having a safe place, like this, and people to support you is invaluable. 

Despite all that, every day is a battle. I still feel the pain, all the time. I've had the same headache, constant, for ten years; people often think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. I put on a good front. 

It's a lonely life. There is little room for "me" when you're constantly having to provide for others, and burdened by pain. I spend a great deal just resting. I am strong though, and one day, I'll be better off because of these struggles...